I hate shaving. I really do. Yes, I will admit I love when my legs are smooth, but the process of getting nicely shaved legs is a real pain. However, prior to a date it’s a necessary part of the routine. Why is that? When in society did the style of smooth legs become a norm? I mean God forbid we let men know that our legs – and our lady parts – grow hair.
The first thing I despise about shaving, is the amount of time it takes to get everything. You can’t go quickly, oh no, you have to take your time or else you end up looking like you’ve been attacked by vicious squirrels on your legs. Am I the only one who can easily take 20-30 minutes shaving?
This brings me to another reason why I hate shaving: the cuts. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have nicked my knees or my ankles and wondered if I was going to bleed out from that little cut. It’s like the bleeding won’t stop! And of course, once it’s healed, I have a talent for nicking myself in the exact same spot.
As if that isn’t enough, there’s always the dreaded missed spot. I don’t care how long I take and how OCD I become while shaving, I have that one little area that becomes magically immune to the stupid razor. As I move my hand over my leg to inspect a job well done, there’s always a damn patch or strip just staring at me…usually around the parts I try not to nick or on my thighs.
The biggest pet peeve of mine when it comes to shaving, is the body contortion I resort to in order to get everything. One leg propped up on a ledge, one hand pushing my inner thigh away, the other hand gently shaving to make sure I don’t slice any important lady parts off….yeah that’s a pain. I feel like there ought to be a shaving yoga class based on the moves I do while shaving in the shower.
Overall, shaving just plain sucks. I could rant for days over why I hate it, but in the end I do it anyways. Whether it be for dates or in order to avoid looking like Chewbacca while wearing shorts, I am a slave to the razor….
But not today. Today as I write I feel the prickliness of my leg hair poking my skin as I cross my legs. Today I rebel…until I shower later…ugh.
What’re your thoughts on shaving?