I am not Jillian Michaels…

Alright. I admit it. I am out of shape. I know this because the first time I ran a few weeks ago I’m pretty sure I could hear my lungs screaming curse words at me. My “extra cushion” around my outer-thighs danced to their own beat as I jogged. Daydreams of bacon cheeseburgers and cheesecake floated through my brain as I struggled for air…
Okay, perhaps it wasn’t that dramatic but my body completely hated me as I forced it to move. For me, working out hasn’t been something that I’ve been consistent with as I’ve grown up. I’ve constantly struggled with self image and always comparing myself to friends who were tinier than me, even if they had completely different body types. With the new medication I was prescribed, I was told that a side effect would be weight gain.
As a twentysomething year old struggling with gaining confidence, the idea of gaining weight on top of how heavy I already am scared me. It shook what confidence I have.
So instead of sitting around and watching myself become more unhealthy, I decided to get myself fit. I didn’t workout to get the shape I desired. I decided to workout to be as healthy as I can be while still maintaining a diet and lifestyle that I could live happily with. 
I’ve been working out for about 4 weeks now and slowly but surely I can tell a difference. My weight hasn’t gone down, but for the first time since I was in 7th grade I was able to run a mile. I’ve now gotten to the point where I can run it in 12 minutes, which for me is a huge victory!! My goal is 10 minutes and 40 seconds. Slowly but surely I’ll get there. I’ve begun switching between running and yoga. 
Yoga is the shiznit, let me tell you. As a woman whose mind is constantly going in a million different directions, this is the first time that I’ve been able to quiet my mind and focus. My mom always makes fun of me because I walk out with a big goofy grin. I just get so relaxed! The women in there and the instructors have been so welcoming and helpful as I’ve learned all of the moves. At first I had the hardest time moving at certain angles, but lately in the past week I’ve noticed certain positions getting easier. 
Don’t get me wrong, wall yoga is still a hard class. I was unaware of certain muscles in my rump region until I did poses against the wall. Word of advice: find your happy place!
I think the hardest thing about working out and sticking with it is remembering that it takes time. It takes time to get to where you want to be and you have to stay committed even when you just don’t feel like it. I’m definitely not Jillian Michaels and chances are I will never get myself that fit. But that’s okay. Weight is not something to focus on. It’s your gravitational pull and I have to remind myself of that all the time. If you have to focus on a number, focus on the body fat percentage. Turn that weight into 150 pounds of muscle instead of cushion. 
At the end of the day, I will still be a food junkie. I’m a Funkie. But I’m accomplishing goals in my fitness that I haven’t been able to do in years. I think that’s the most important accomplishment.  

 

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