Fight for Parkinson’s 

Hey guys, 

I don’t often make a giant call out to my fellow bloggers, but I’m asking you human to human to do me a favor. I read so many of the posts that pop up on my feed and I am humbled by the human connection and willingness to share with a community. 

I am a volunteer boxing coach for Parkinson’s patients. One of my boxers entered our little program into a competition to win $6000. This money would go to funding new equipment for our boxers to exercise with and covering monthly costs for those who couldn’t afford it. 

Why should you care? 

Our program, because it is an exercise program, is not funded by any national Parkinson’s foundations. We as boxing coaches do not take any money for ourself and have dedicated our time to helping our boxers fight against a disease that currently has no cure. 

How to help

All it takes is one vote per email address for Rock Steady Boxing Brownsburg. If you could vote every day up until March 31st, I would be eternally grateful to my WordPress community. 

Here’s the link: 

Vote for Rock Steady Brownsburg

Perspective: Goodbye Bailey

 Yesterday Heaven got a new dog. My dog, Bailey. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

She was given lots of treats yesterday. There were dog cannolis, squirrel shaped cookies, and dog bones given to her throughout the day. She got her belly rubbed and behind her ears scratched. The collar was taken off and Bailey got scratched where we usually couldn’t reach underneath her collar. She even got to lay on the couch (something she wasn’t normally allowed to do). She looked up at us, tail wagging and tongue hanging from the side. The tumor enveloping her lower jaw and pushing out her teeth was painfully obvious. I knew that it had to be done.

Each family member got to whisper sweet things to her and love on her. Our other dog, Striker, napped by her side and wherever she went he followed. When 5 p.m. came along my mom and I piled into the truck with my grandpa and Bailey. My little sister scream cried as she left the house, unable to deal with the fact that Bailey had to go.

As we left the house, the concept of what was happening became real for me. God I wanted to cry. My baby had cancer, but she was still happy. She could still eat treats in the back of her mouth, but I knew that if we didn’t do something about it she’d get so much worse.

When we went got into the vet they already had a room ready for her. There was a flower-print blanket on the floor for us to sit with her. The vet came in. Bailey wouldn’t let him stick a needle in her paw so we all had to hold her down as he sedated her in the rear. She yelped and whined. I cried. I stood up and gave her a couple of treats from the jar on the counter. She happily accepted them before she began to shake and lose her balance.

My mom and I laid her on her side and whispered sweet words to her as she slept. The vet put the catheter in and injected the medication. I was beginning to shake and bawl at this point. She stiffened in her sleep and then relaxed. The vet warned us that she might twitch after she had passed as the sedative and the other medication reacted in her that way.

He leaned over after a moment or two and spoke the words that broke my heart: “She’s gone.”

I leaned down to kiss her head and hold her paw. She gasped. I couldn’t control my tears as my mom and the vet rapidly assured me that she was dead and it was an involuntary reaction. It happened two more times and I lost a little bit of myself each time. Then she stilled.

The odd thing about dogs when they die is that their eyes don’t close. I cried and held my dog. I couldn’t comprehend that the sweet pup that had pulled me out of my depression before and was the reason for so many decisions was gone. I petted her body, telling her how much I loved her, and trying to remind myself that we did the right thing.

My dog was gone. I felt the heat begin to fade from her body and we left. I cried in the back seat on the way home. I went outside with the whiskey and honored her in the oldest tradition I’d heard of. I poured a shot whispering, “Hail the victorious dead” and poured in the grass.

I poured a shot for myself and tried to take it. I threw it back up immediately and cried (I can’t take shots of whiskey). I wiped my tears quickly knowing my family was waiting for me back in the kitchen. I went back in and poured myself a drink.

Goodbye my sweet Bailey. You will forever be missed. You were the first big dog I ever had and one of the reasons I fought to have a relationship with my dad. You were my cuddle buddy during thunderstorms and the first face I saw when I woke up and opened my door each morning. You were the protector of my siblings when they were babies and you were my teddy bear when life got me down. You were my walking buddy, my hiking companion, and my four legged vacuum when I spilled food. You ate everything you saw, albeit cigars, pizza, medication, and yet you always managed to survive. You made me so angry yet you were the sunshine of my life and had the key to my heart. You got sick with mouth cancer and it spread to your brain. I didn’t want you to hurt anymore and I didn’t want you to suffer worse than you already were. I love you, I love you, I love you. You were my Bailey bug, my Bailey girl.

Goodbye sweet girl. You will not be forgotten.

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Kids really do say the funniest things… Part 3!

First off, I have way too much fun with these posts! Secondly, I laugh because you just can’t make up the things that kids say. I work in customer service, so I interact with parents and their children. I also travel too, so the things you hear in public restrooms are hilarious….

Little girl and her mom a few stalls over… :

Her Mom: “Honey this isn’t play time. You need to poop.”

Girl: “Well I can’t go right now. I just can’t.”

H.M. : “You told me you had to go in the car. Why can’t you go?”

G: “Because I’m still mad at you.”

Little boy at the grocery store:

Boy: “Guess what?”

Me: “What?”

Boy: “I get to see my grandparents tonight.”

Me: “Oh how fun! Are you excited?”

Boy: “Yeah, but I can’t play rough with my grandpa.”

Me: “Why not?”

Boy: “He has diarrhea.”

His mom: “……….yep. You were listening to me and Grandma earlier weren’t you?”

My little brother listening to “I Bet My Life” by Imagine Dragons… :

As the chorus comes up

Brother: “I- I bit my wife! I bit my wife for youuuuuuu!”

Me: “Dude, it’s I bet my life not I bit my wife.”

My little sister: “Ewwwwww you have a wife?”

Brother: “NO! Gross. Girls are gross. I am NOT married.”

I seriously wish that “Kids say the Darnest Things” was still on TV. The things that I hear from children tend to be some of the funniest things I hear, especially at work.

Have any funny stories? Please, please share them! Kids really are the best.

Depression is draining

First off, I’d like to apologize over my absence. I must have written a dozen starts to blog posts, but they never seemed to come to an end I was happy with. So rather than tell a funny story(I’ve had a few these past few months) or write about some unspoken truth, I decided to talk about depression.

Depression sucks. It just does. It is one of the most crippling helpless feelings I’ve ever experienced in my life. To add to its joyous occurrence (I mean that in the most sarcastic way) I also got diagnosed with high anxiety too.

So basically I had no motivation and was panicking about my future and the possibility of failure.

I grew up in a home where counseling wasn’t an option. It was simply an insult if you were deemed too weak or acting “dramatic” as my mom would call it. The situation that I lived in wasn’t healthy and it took me until college to realize that. Well, that realization and the loss of a relationship with my mom was sickening.

What do you do when the one major contributing factor in your life (regardless of the good and bad) suddenly is exposed as a lie? For me, I just spiraled downwards a bit. I went through a period of saying I was fine and to be fair I had an amazing support system from my dad and stepmom’s side of the family. Over the summer they were there for me and kept me together, but when I went back to college that’s when I realized that I wasn’t fine.

I hated that I couldn’t talk to my mother anymore and that when we did talk, the conversations were more destructive than progressive. I was also struggling with balancing classes that were rather difficult and a job that was much more demanding than I had anticipated.

I felt thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread (LOTR reference!) and I had to come to the realization that I couldn’t handle it all.

It was when I was sitting outside of a classroom waiting for class to start and I started uncontrollably crying for no reason that I realized I needed help.

That was probably the toughest part: I had to swallow my pride and admit to myself that it was okay that I couldn’t handle everything on my own. I had friends to help me get through it all, but it wasn’t enough.

So I went to the counseling center and also had a long talk with my dad over the choices I had to make and I scaled down the amount of busyness I had in my life. I cut the classes that I couldn’t handle and I quit the job so I could focus on grades.

My blog fell to the wind because I couldn’t find the strength to write about this, let alone admit that I was going through a rough time.

However, I’ve begun to heal and for the first time in months the keyboard seems to be my friend again. I understand that things are not always going to be easy and I know there’s a long road ahead of me, but for the first time in a while I feel hope.

I have deep respect for those who continue to deal with depression. I used to be one of those people who wrote it off as weakness, but after dealing with it I have to say I’m sorry for ever thinking that.

Depression and anxiety really suck and dealing with them together is a nightmare. You can’t sleep because all you think about is what you need to do and you don’t want to get up because you don’t think there’s a point to trying.

I started to abuse alcohol just to sleep and then I started to abuse NyQuil when I ran out of alcohol. I drank just enough that I couldn’t think anymore simply so I could fall asleep. I took two doses of NyQuil or ZzzQuil just to pass out quicker. I knew it wasn’t healthy and I certainly didn’t tell anyone let alone my support group.

I’m better now and I don’t do that anymore. I’ve learned to fall asleep using healthier options. I won’t lie, there are still nights when I’m awake stressing and thinking uncontrollably of the same thing over and over again until I finally pass out.

I am sorry for taking so long to blog, but thank you to those who take the time to read this.

I’ve also taken up photography again, so the photo at the top is one of mine I’m most proud of.

Apology notes and goats

Well I knew the start up of the semester would be busy… but I didn’t know it’d be this busy. It’s actually pretty exhilarating though. I started a new position as a writer for a newspaper and since training day it’s been “life in the fast lane” for me! However, the downside to this new job is the lack of social life I have now. 

I’ll admit it. I am definitely a social butterfly. I love to be around people and get to know people’s stories, so getting off of work and knowing everyone is already busy kind of bums me out. I don’t mind too much though. I get to catch up on episodes of Dexter.

Yes, my name is Alexis and I am addicted to Dexter. I have a problem… Haha! 

I just wanted to let all my readers know that I haven’t abandoned my blog… It’ll just be a bit before I can post frequently.

Oh the consequences of life!

 

On a random note, I do have a story to tell you. I got to go to a farm the other day. Like a farm with chickens and goats and cows.. It was awesome!!!

It was actually my aunt and uncle’s farm, but they call it a glorified petting zoo. It was pretty fantastic. They had a baby goat and I taught it to butt my knuckles whenever I yelled, “fist bump!”

The little guy is supposed to be meat for dinner eventually though. I’m sure he’d be tasty, but a fist bumping goat is just too cute. There’s my liberal act for the year. 

Save the goats!!! 

However, the cows they have make the best steaks I’ve ever tasted in my life. Just throwing that out there..

I got to pick eggs for the first time. I was honestly afraid of the chickens. Urban girls and chickens don’t mix.. but I did it! It was so much fun and now I have farm fresh eggs sitting in my fridge. 

I have to say my aunt and uncle’s farm is very admirable. They grow their own vegetables, herbs, and have their own meat. The landscape at their place is gorgeous and I love it. It’s one of those places to go and unwind. If I ever have the time one day, I’d totally get a farm with goats, but probably not chickens… Just saying… Those little things freak me out.

One Lovely Blog Award and the Very Inspiring Blog Award

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Well, all I have to say is wow. When I first started off blogging a couple of months ago I had no idea how it would turn out. The feedback since then has been very encouraging and I have loved being a part of the WordPress community. Everyone has been supportive.

I have been recently nominated by Maria9saif for the “One Lovely Blog Award” and nominated for the “Very Inspiring Blog Award” by Roservs.

At the time of Roservs’ nomination I had no idea what to do, so I never passed the award on. I thought it was literally a nomination, not the actually winning… whoops!

Let me first thank Maria9saif for the Lovely Blog Award. She is an incredibly talented blogger and artist herself, so for her to notice my blog and consider it worthy of an award is both flattering and honoring. She has been very active in reading my blog and has been an overall kind individual to me. Thank you for that Maria!

Secondly, let me thank Roservs for the Very Inspiring Blog Award. She is a very talented and spunky blogger. I love her style and anyone who wants to read an inspiring cool blog ought to read hers. I feel bad for just now getting around to posting this award, but I was novice and naïve and had no idea how to do this! She is a kind individual aside from her blog and was very influential within my first few posts of my blog. Thank you Roservs!

Here are the rules for both blogs. They are identical, so those who I’ve picked can either separate each award or put them together as I have.

  1. Thank and link to the amazing person who nominated you
  2. List the rules and display the award.
  3. Share seven facts about yourself.
  4. Nominate 15 other amazing blogs and comment on their posts to let them know they have been nominated.
  5. Proudly display the award logo on your blog and follow the blogger who nominated you.

Here are my seven facts:

  1. I am a nerd. Plain and simple. I love Sherlock Holmes, Big Bang Theory, Supernatural, Tolkien, Dresden Files, Game of Thrones, and Marvel fan. I love them all. My dream is to go to San Diego Comicon one day.
  2. I use my little siblings as an excuse as to why I watch so many Disney movies…I really just love them.
  3. I am a huge football fan. I love it! I’m that fan that can’t talk for days after the game because I screamed too much.
  4. I have an addiction to coffee. Not that I drink too much, but I love finding local coffee shops and trying what they have.
  5. I have an addiction to Thin Mints. I will literally avoid the grocery store during normal hours just to avoid the Girl Scouts and their Thin Mints. I’m a college student. I can’t afford those evil cookies…
  6. I love to be outdoors. I always feel like I’m on a treasure hunt when I’m hiking on a trail.
  7. In elementary school I stopped being friends with another girl because we both wanted to be the first woman president. I had such high aspirations…now I’m a journalism major.

Here are my 15 nominations for both awards. I truly believe each blog deserves both awards:

  1. New3Creation Writing
  2. 3 Smiles a Day
  3. Pretty Little Things
  4. Bmyshot
  5. Yousra
  6. Mara Eastern
  7. Indefinitelys
  8. Went Looking
  9. Yellow Intersection
  10. Green Embers
  11. Be Young and Shut Up
  12. Grad World/Real World
  13. Color is Law
  14. Felicia Kimmel
  15. Calliopes Lyre

 

There are so many more talented bloggers that I love to read. Every blogger deserves an award because of their bravery to write and share their stories and thoughts with others. Thank you to the two bloggers who recognized the potential in my blog. I am truly grateful.